Seeking: the Divine Feminine
I saw a fleeting glimpse of you on the street the other day. I think you may have smiled at me. There was definitely a spark between us. If you’re interested in giving this crazy thing a chance, get in touch.
For various reasons, I’m being pulled to work more intensely and intimately with a female deity and/or goddess. And not just in general, like setting up an altar to “the Great Mother of Everything,” but pulled to seek out someone very specific. Who that specific female deity/goddess is has yet to be revealed to me. Sometimes I think I may have seen her, but we have yet to meet.
The Spirit work I do has always been ancestral and animistic in nature. I do not align my practices with one tradition, philosophy, mythology or religion. I have not pledged my allegiance or devotion to any particular Deity, God, Goddess or Divine Entity. This new inspiration and call to work with a feminine consort leaves me wondering, how do I go about meeting her?
All the usual advice about this kind of thing hasn’t been working for me. I have sat in silence with an open mind and spirit, waiting and listening. I have thought about the cultures and traditions I feel connected to and asked for a willing female representative to come forward. I have stared into the flames, scried the water’s surface and consulted my pendulum for a sign.
It starts to feel like sitting alone at a party where everyone else already knows each other. This looks like a friendly crowd, though, so maybe I just need to get up and go introduce myself.
If only it were so simple.
It’s hard enough to make friends in real life, let alone across planes of existence.
I have no trouble connecting to my female ancestors, animal spirits with female energy or the feminine qualities of the earth. Why is this so hard? Why does there seem to some kind of block?
So I look inward.
What are my issues with connecting to a divine female entity?
Am I not as open to it as I think I am?
It’s not you, it’s me.
There are a couple things that could contribute to this from my end – I’m an only female child who is closest to my father and I always had an easier time making friends with boys. Not entirely a tomboy, but never very “girly.” I’ve always had a small group of close female friends, but I’ve found that friendships with women take longer to cultivate. Speaking from my experience only (and not to start an internet war about feminism), I’ve found it much easier to be on the same page right away with men. Women need more time together to really feel comfortable around each other.
Maybe that means I just need to give it more time.
Maybe I need to listen for softer whisperings.
Not adhering to one particular tradition also makes it difficult. I have studied some more than others and feel a strong connection to more than one.
Where do I start listening when the voices could come from any direction?
What if I started from a different perspective?
What if I thought about this divine feminine entity that I would like to develop a relationship with as a real woman I might meet on the street? What kind of woman would I want to have this kind of bond with? What if I envisioned the type of woman I want to fill this roll in my life and see who fits the bill?
Can I narrow down the myriad of possibilities by looking at it this way?
A process of elimination, of sorts?
Then comes the issue of who is really doing the choosing in this situation. Am I to choose her or is she to choose me? Am I to go looking or wait to be found? We’ll be spending a lot of time together and she’ll be allowed a fair amount of influence in my life, so some discernment is definitely in order. But to what degree?
Ultimately, it seems that I am left with a lot of questions.
So, how have I decided to approach this?
Well, first of all, I’m not giving up. I realize it’s a process that takes time…a lot of time.
That means I need to cultivate my patience.
Working on it.
I am also a very visual person, so reading the words of stories and mythologies allows me to envision a fully realized representation of the players. Reading also seeps into my dreams and I often interact with what I’ve been reading.
Therefore, my plan is to read. Read and meditate and be patient.
To let the legends and sagas of the great Gods, Goddesses and Deities saturate my subconscious until their presence in the recesses of my mind becomes commonplace. Maybe then, one divine, beautiful, sacred woman will feel equally drawn to me and answer my call.